Ever feel like your entire life is up in the air? It seems that is the story of my life right now. I know some big, faith testing things are around the corner, but i have no clue what capacity they will present themselves. (I also believe there are big changes coming for GP that will not necessarily be easy, but will be for the best and will help the church grow in many ways) The good thing about it is, for the most part, I am okay just to wait...to see what the future holds...
Thinking of my life being up in the air brings me to my girls. Really, I have nothing to complain or worry about. I have family and friends who will take care of me even if worst come to worse, but these girls...well they dont have that. Both are in positions i can't even fathom.
One has been adopted and given back more than once; (not for anything she has done, but b/c she did not fit a certain mold) and in all honesty, the system has completely done her a disservice resulting in her losing contact with her biological siblings. The feelings of rejection she faces are completely understandable. I would not want to go through the process again either.
The other is about to find out her parents rights are going to be terminated (she was supposed to find out monday, but circmstances put it off). She will lose all contact with her parents, crushing the hope she has of going home. Though I know this is the right thing for her, she will not understand, and i do not relish seeing her heart broken.
While I can know and understand that even though I feel my life is in the air, really it is completely taken care of by God, my girls do not have that faith and understanding. They do not have the peace that comes with knowing that even though nothing else seems to be going right, you are sitting in the comforting arms of Christ and are not facing it alone. One only accepted Christ a month ago and the other has no clue. It is hard enough for me, who has been a Christ follower most of my life, to let go, but a child who trusts no one (for good reason) and has been abandoned and let down every time she turned around...
My prayer is to know how to show them, support them and love them through all this. I want to walk along side them for this season of life, being a godly example and a loving parental figure. I want them to know and feel God's unending love and to see their worth through His eyes--to realize that even though life may be up in the air, they are not alone and there is something amazing waiting for them.
