We've heard it said "time heals all wounds." Just so you know, that is such a lie. Time heals absolutely nothing. It just gives you more time to think about the hurt. GOD, however, heals more than just wounds. He heals the aches, pains, wounds and scars. He helps us face the worst and come through it stronger and closer to him.
In the face of tragedy i can not even begin to speak of, my uncle asked me yesterday if "it" get's better. I told him no. I know you guys are thinking that was wrong, but I hate that when my father died everyone told me it would get better with time. That is a stinkin' lie! It doesn't get better; the pain never goes away; and some days the anger even comes back.
...And don't go thinking i haven't dealt with this...I have...I know my father is sitting at Jesus' feet and that he is where he has always wanted to be. I would not really wish him back from that, especially since that is ultimately where I want to be. However, I am still human.
I miss my dad! It breaks my heart to know that if i ever actually do get married he won't be there to walk me down the isle. I hate that he never got to see my nephews or see where my life has taken me. His death rocked my entire family so completely on all sides I don't think anyone has truly recovered. I know we haven't as a family.
All this being said...i have been told that b/c I still get so upset in June and Dec. (anniversary, father's day/birthday, Christmas) and at other random times that i have not dealt with it. Trust me, I know God has used me with ppl i never would have met b/c my father died. I also know, I probably would never have ended up where I am today had he lived...doesn't mean i don't miss him. But God has worked in and through me during all this...and continues to do so. I have been able to connect with ppl I would not have been able to understand. I feel more deeply and I care about petty things less (sometimes to the dismay of others)
So, time has done nothing for me, but God has! Every day He reminds me why I am here (though sometimes I listen better than others.) Time offers what you make of it. I could easily become angry and bitter, or depressed and despondant, but since I hate being miserable that isn't really an answer. Besides, if i am to truly honor my father, i will live my life according to God's standards, let go of the bad times and remember him for who he was to me, who he was in Christ.
In our current family devastation, I believe ppl make choices without realizing their magnitude. But all choices have consequences that reach much farther than we could ever imagine. I don't think God wants us to make poor choices, but neither does He force our hand. I do know he understands the pain, hurt and anger and wants to take it from us and hold us through the rough patches.
However, we should not remember ppl for the bad choices, but for the ways they helped us grow and change. We can learn and grow from each other and God can bring us through the choices we make, good or bad. I am thankful he does not hold my poor choices against me.
I also know this...God can take whatever we have to say. I recently expressed my anger to a friend and my struggle with not wanting to be angry. She told me God doesn't care if i'm angry, it is how I deal with the anger that makes a difference (how many time have i said that myself?) So if I am happy, sad, frustrated, devastated, broken hearted, or furious all I have to do is give it to God and allow HIM to work in and through me. He will handle it all if I let him.
