As the holiday season busyness sets in and the year begins to wind down I look at what has happened throughout this year. I started the year off with one girl who had been with me since March of last year and another who moved in the end of Jan this year. We went through many ups and downs and now, mid Nov, I am sitting in my home alone. The girl who lived with me a year and a half almost is with another family in neighboring city and the one who moved in in Jan went through a series of acute hospitalizations beginning in May until she ended up in a residential facility in Chattanooga, where she has been since Aug.
I never would have seen any of this coming and I can't really predict what will happen next. I do know I have refused to take in any more kids full time while she is away b/c i want her to have a home to come back to and I want us to be able to work through any problems or issues when she comes home without me being distracted by caring for more than one child. She gets to come home for Thanksgiving (which is 1 year from when we met); and we are both excited about that. After that regular visitations should begin which should lead to her returning home in the next few months.
Going into foster care has been one of the most challenging, yet rewarding experiences in my life. I never would have dreamed the situations we have been through in a million years, but I would not trade what I have learned about myself, others and more importantly God through these experiences. He is giving me a strength and confidence through it that have helped me in other areas of life as well as a compassion and love that comes only from him.
Other changes throughout the year had to do with life and jobs. Going back to part time at GP at the beginning of the year, I made an active decision not to take on another consistent job. I worked in places that would allow me flexibility for the girls and the summer off, which had I not done, i would have lost the job anyway when life with the girls got so crazy. I would not have been able to keep a non flexible job, so it was def for the best.
As we close out the year, our church is moving. We will begin the new year in a different location which means we are ending the year in craziness trying to make that happen as smoothly as possible. There are so many little things to consider and do, so many ways to try and simplify, but in the end it will all be worth it. We will be in our new location, at our new time and all our hard work to make it happen will pay off. There is a peace about the move and we are excited to see how God is going to use this move for His glory.
These are only the major events and changes. There have been so many and so many ups and downs to accompany them. I try to sort them all, learn from them, grow from them, but sometimes I just let them overwhelm me. Thankfully God is in charge and has control of the situation. I just have to remember that and quit trying to be in charge.
Holidays are approaching and I have been trying to figure out how to do everything and see everyone. It just isn't possible, esp with added life events that are not usually factors, so I have to trust that just b/c I don't get to see everyone when I want or for how long I want they know I love them and care about them, but sometimes life does not work the way we want it to. [I have yet to figure out how to be in 3 places at once (and believe me, I have tried). I am pretty sure that is b/c 3 of me would be a disaster--one is enough of a handful. :~}]
