Faith Testing Feelings

Several months ago i got a feeling something big was about to happen, something faith testing.  I could not determine if this thing would be good or bad, just faith testing.  Well I am beginning to believe Iam in the middle of it.  The past month and a half have been more than a little crazy, esp where the children are concerned.  I think something fairly big happened about every other day until last Sunday when one of my children ended up having to leave the house for a while to get help more than I can give.  She will be back tomorrow.  We have spoken every night and i was able to visit her today.  Maybe there will be some good in all this.  I think i am already seeing some good come from it. 

I believe this is part of my "faith testing."  Things have definitely been difficult the last several weeks and I have been at my wits end. Yet through it all, I am gaining a stronger confidence than I have ever had and I know I am doing  what I was called to do with these girls.  I dont know how long we will all be together, but for now we will just work through the difficulties that are being thrown at us from so many sides.

This is only part of what is going on.  I feel like my life is completely flipping upside down in so many ways.  Maybe b/c that is what happened 10 years ago when my father died; or maybe b/c i am seeing things in a different light.  I am realizing relationships are never what they seem; some are stronger, yet some are just a farce, while others are there, but with no time to really cultivate them. Maybe my feelings about relationships are involved in the faith testing. I dont know, I am rambling...

But I do know this: The test of faith is just beginning.  These girls and their struggles are only part of it.  There is more to come.  Again, not necessarily bad, but the testing of faith is difficult, even when it is a good thing. I guess that is why it is called a test.