Thankgiving--the time of year when we make a point to get together with family/friends and talk about our many things for which we are thankful...yes we should be thankful always, but this time of year we tend to reflect more on the blessings in life.
One of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions is to get together with my dad's side of the family at my cousin's house the saturday before or after Thanksgiving. We eat in the garage and share things we are thankful for from prompts (favorite modern convenience, time of year, etc). One of the things i most love is how many of our answers turn back to Christ. This year one of my cousins had the ? "what person in history are you most thankful for?" His answer was Christ, which is the answer for so many of us, but in this case--well, 2 years ago that would not have been his answer. His surrender to Christ has been recent and it brings me unspeakable joy to see and hear the difference Christ is making in his life--or in anyone's life.
Another tradition i have kind of adopted is to stay here in TN and have anyone who may not have a place to go, who may not have family around, get together for dinner. Some friends and I have adopted this tradition together. It is amazing to see the random families God brings to this event each year. This year we had 27 ppl gather, some whose families are out of state or not around, some who just needed a place to go.
Two days before Thanksgiving I got a call asking if I could take a girl whose Thanksgiving plans fell through. I can't begin to imagine what it must feel like to have to spend a holiday at the mercy of ppl you have never even met. She was very kind and helpful--a 14 yr old who threw the football with the guys, played well with all the kids and was as respectul as she could be.
I am thankful she was able to join us this year. Her presence also reminded me how blessed i am to have such great friends and family. I will always have a place to go home to, whether it is my brother's in NY, my mom's in GA, or a friend's here in TN. On the multiple occasions i have spent Christmas day here, I aways had multiple offers of places to go--ppl i know and love, not random strangers whom i have never met. Yet so often I take these friends and family for granted. I forget what a blessing it truly is to have them. This year, having foster children in my home, I am greatly reminded how God blessed me with the family He gave, with the friends He has made to be my extended family.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
"Fix" it
Many of my friends have husbands or dads who just want to "fix" everything. (my dad was like this) If they are sad, hurt, or frustrated the husband or father wants to offer a solution or take away the pain or problem, but many times this is not possible or actually what is needed.
Now, we all know I am not a "normal" girl (as some of my friends so graciously pointed out to me this weekend). I tend to have that same problem--i want to fix things for other ppl. I think we all ache when somone we love is in pain or is going through a hard time, but lately it seems most ppl around me are struggling in some way, whether it be with church, family, finances, the past, whatever. I just wish I could take away the pain and make it better. I have it in my head if I just say the right thing, it will make the difference. I can take away their pain or keep them from self destructing (if that is the case). Unfortunately, that is not so.
I think back to this summer when i was in such a miserable place. It seemed that all aspects of life were simultaneously falling apart. I knew (in my head) the right answers, but i couldnt quite get there. It didnt matter what anyone said, I had to wrestle it out with myself and with God on my own. That is where these ppl are, yet for some reason I think I can help them.
I was sitting in church on Sunday listening to the music. It was all about focusing on Christ and keeping Him in the center and it hit me--i am so wrapped up in trying to fix all these ppl, I am not focusing on God like I should. This summer I was so wrapped up in my kids and in other ppl i forgot to just reflect on Christ and who he is. Not only that, but nothing i can do or say is going to make a difference in the long run if they are not ready to hear it. And if i am not focusing on Christ myself, how am I going to point others in His direction.
My biggest problem is that i found myself actig like someone I am not. I was trying to push a conversation that was not supposed to happen, at least not yet. Why push it? B/c I thought i had some major insight that would make a difference. Please, who am i? I am giving myself waaayy to much credit.
I am not saying being a friend and listening or offering advice and challenges on occasion are not appropriate or needed. Those things are definitely needed! But I have to know that my words or actions are not going to change someone elses spiritual or emotional state. It can help them to know they are not alone and have somone to talk with or cry with, but apart from Christ I can do nothing for them...only with Christ working through me and in them can a difference be made.
I was trying to make it about me--to accept responsibility for things I have no control over. If someone wants to self-destruct or stay mad, nothing I say is going to convince them they are wrong (dont worry, i will still try, but i will hopefully listen to God's timing a little more instead of trying to force a conversation someone is not ready to have.
Now, we all know I am not a "normal" girl (as some of my friends so graciously pointed out to me this weekend). I tend to have that same problem--i want to fix things for other ppl. I think we all ache when somone we love is in pain or is going through a hard time, but lately it seems most ppl around me are struggling in some way, whether it be with church, family, finances, the past, whatever. I just wish I could take away the pain and make it better. I have it in my head if I just say the right thing, it will make the difference. I can take away their pain or keep them from self destructing (if that is the case). Unfortunately, that is not so.
I think back to this summer when i was in such a miserable place. It seemed that all aspects of life were simultaneously falling apart. I knew (in my head) the right answers, but i couldnt quite get there. It didnt matter what anyone said, I had to wrestle it out with myself and with God on my own. That is where these ppl are, yet for some reason I think I can help them.
I was sitting in church on Sunday listening to the music. It was all about focusing on Christ and keeping Him in the center and it hit me--i am so wrapped up in trying to fix all these ppl, I am not focusing on God like I should. This summer I was so wrapped up in my kids and in other ppl i forgot to just reflect on Christ and who he is. Not only that, but nothing i can do or say is going to make a difference in the long run if they are not ready to hear it. And if i am not focusing on Christ myself, how am I going to point others in His direction.
My biggest problem is that i found myself actig like someone I am not. I was trying to push a conversation that was not supposed to happen, at least not yet. Why push it? B/c I thought i had some major insight that would make a difference. Please, who am i? I am giving myself waaayy to much credit.
I am not saying being a friend and listening or offering advice and challenges on occasion are not appropriate or needed. Those things are definitely needed! But I have to know that my words or actions are not going to change someone elses spiritual or emotional state. It can help them to know they are not alone and have somone to talk with or cry with, but apart from Christ I can do nothing for them...only with Christ working through me and in them can a difference be made.
I was trying to make it about me--to accept responsibility for things I have no control over. If someone wants to self-destruct or stay mad, nothing I say is going to convince them they are wrong (dont worry, i will still try, but i will hopefully listen to God's timing a little more instead of trying to force a conversation someone is not ready to have.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
children today
So, I pull up to school today and begin to worry when I do not see my child. Upon asking a teacher where she is, I learn she is in the office b/c of a "discipline issue." At my obviously shocked and beginning to get upset face, she quickly explained that Serina was the cussee, not the cusser. So, why is she being cussed out at school..at all?....
Lets start with yesterday when I picked her up. There was a girl mouthing off at her when i pulled in. I could tell somethng was up and wanted to put the child in her place b/c it was apparent she was being hateful, but I am not a teacher and did not know the situation. Well, no sooner was Serina in the car that she told me she was going to see the principal in the morning.
With a bit of investigating I learn this child who was mouthing off had been extremely hateful to her. They have never talked before and Serina said she was not even talking with her, she was talking to somone else (not that she is always truthful, and she can be sensitive). I told her to stay away from that girl--she is obviously not a happy child and is just wanting to start something so dont get anywhere near her; but if she did to tell a teacher immediately. I figured that should be possible since they have never talked before.
...so, back to today...
The way it would seem, according to the counselor is this...Someone asked Serina to come over where the girl was b/c she wanted to ask her a ?. She asked her if she was a "foster kid." Serina answered yes and the nice, well meaning child decided to tell her what she thought of "foster kids" in terms that well bred 11 or 12 year olds should not be using, much less even know.
Now, there may have been a bit more to it than that, but still...who does that? And I dont want to hear that junk about kids being kids or you know how mean kids are b/c honestly, most kids by nature are not that mean. They are selfish yes, but they become mean b/c they see it or experience it; and since my thoughts about this child and her upbringing are currently not nice and somewhat judgemental, I will keep them to myself and ask for forgiveness, but it truly angers me that she would have to endure comments like that.
Lets start with yesterday when I picked her up. There was a girl mouthing off at her when i pulled in. I could tell somethng was up and wanted to put the child in her place b/c it was apparent she was being hateful, but I am not a teacher and did not know the situation. Well, no sooner was Serina in the car that she told me she was going to see the principal in the morning.
With a bit of investigating I learn this child who was mouthing off had been extremely hateful to her. They have never talked before and Serina said she was not even talking with her, she was talking to somone else (not that she is always truthful, and she can be sensitive). I told her to stay away from that girl--she is obviously not a happy child and is just wanting to start something so dont get anywhere near her; but if she did to tell a teacher immediately. I figured that should be possible since they have never talked before.
...so, back to today...
The way it would seem, according to the counselor is this...Someone asked Serina to come over where the girl was b/c she wanted to ask her a ?. She asked her if she was a "foster kid." Serina answered yes and the nice, well meaning child decided to tell her what she thought of "foster kids" in terms that well bred 11 or 12 year olds should not be using, much less even know.
Now, there may have been a bit more to it than that, but still...who does that? And I dont want to hear that junk about kids being kids or you know how mean kids are b/c honestly, most kids by nature are not that mean. They are selfish yes, but they become mean b/c they see it or experience it; and since my thoughts about this child and her upbringing are currently not nice and somewhat judgemental, I will keep them to myself and ask for forgiveness, but it truly angers me that she would have to endure comments like that.
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