"Fix" it

Many of my friends have husbands or dads who just want to "fix" everything. (my dad was like this)  If they are sad, hurt, or frustrated the husband or father wants to offer a solution or take away the pain or problem, but many times this is not possible or actually what is needed.

 Now, we all know I am not a "normal" girl (as some of my friends so graciously pointed out to me this weekend).  I tend to have that same problem--i want to fix things for other ppl. I think we all ache when somone we love is in pain or is going through a hard time, but lately it seems most ppl around me are struggling in some way, whether it be with church, family, finances, the past, whatever.  I just wish I could take away the pain and make it better.  I have it in my head if I just say the right thing, it will make the difference.  I can take away their pain or keep them from self destructing (if that is the case).  Unfortunately, that is not so.

I think back to this summer when i was in such a miserable place.  It seemed that all aspects of life were simultaneously falling apart.  I knew (in my head) the right answers, but i couldnt quite get there.  It didnt matter what anyone said, I had to wrestle it out with myself and with God on my own.  That is where these ppl are, yet for some reason I think I can help them.

I was sitting in church on Sunday listening to the music.  It was all about focusing on Christ and keeping Him in the center and it hit me--i am so wrapped up in trying to fix all these ppl, I am not focusing on God like I should.  This summer I was so wrapped up in my kids and in other ppl i forgot to just reflect on Christ and who he is. Not only that, but nothing i can do or say is going to make a difference in the long run if they are not ready to hear it.  And if i am not focusing on Christ myself, how am I going to point others in His direction.

My biggest problem is that i found myself actig like someone I am not.  I was trying to push a conversation that was not supposed to happen, at least not yet.  Why push it?  B/c I thought i had some major insight that would make a difference.  Please, who am i?  I am giving myself waaayy to much credit.

I am not saying being a friend and listening or offering advice and challenges on occasion are not appropriate or needed.  Those things are definitely needed! But I have to know that my words or actions are not going to change someone elses spiritual or emotional state.  It can help them to know they are not alone and have somone to talk with or cry with, but apart from Christ I can do nothing for them...only with Christ working through me and in them can a difference be made. 

I was trying to make it about me--to accept responsibility for things I have no control over.  If someone wants to self-destruct or stay mad, nothing I say is going to convince them they are wrong (dont worry, i will still try, but i will hopefully listen to God's timing a little more instead of trying to force a conversation someone is not ready to have.