Sunday night I am sitting in worship (which is a miracle in and of itself) and Jason is making announcements about our fellowship time and adds that there is also a surprise housewarming shower for the children's pastor. I think I almost fell out of my seat! So, ppl start coming up to me asking if i am surprised and laughing at the bright red shade of my face. How this happened without me having a clue. Really I knew a couple ppl wanted to give me something, but had no idea the magnitude. It was great...a wonderful encouragement. I know i am loved, but this just made me want to cry with overwhelming love and grattitude.
To top everything off, Amy D. kept asking me if I had opened any of the presents, which of course got me thinking. So, when I got to the house where I was dog sitting, I took all the card and the gifts inside to open. I found a gift from my college roommate and her mom. Amy had gotten Ashleys info when she came in Oct "just in case" What amazing friends I have!
So, what did i get?...a vaccum cleaner ( I am so excited), bar stools for the bar Bobby built, cheese grater ;), gift cards, candle set, paper products, step ladder. There are no words to express my love and grattitude. I am overwhelmed with blessings from my church family and friends! I will post a pic of the bar at a later date.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The Devil's Defense
Whenever Christians start turning their hearts closer to God, seeking Him more and striving together to grow closer to him, satan starts to panic...he pull out all the punches. I am blessed to be in a Bible study group, an accountability group if you will, with 3 other ladies. We talked when we went into this about how Satan would stop at nothing to keep us from it. We have all been hit with various obstacles lately, sickness, discouragement, etc. But it isn't just us...many ppl are being attacked right now in so many different ways.
I have this feeling God is readying hearts for something big...maybe it is our summer events, new personnel, or simply a revival of hearts and souls to HIM. I feel Satan trying everything he can to prevent, halt or taint this ...whatever it is. I feel our church is being attacked from so many angles; my friends are being broken; I am being flung this way and that. Satan's only defense to whatever God is preparing to do is to get us off focus, off guard.
He is throwing his lies in my face and I am struggling not to believe them. Of course the day I wake from a dream of a random person I've not seen in years and wasn't ever friends with in the first place, who pointed out all my faults in front of my friends who did not stand up for me, is the day Satan decides to remind me of a heart breaking issue from several years ago. Something happened that broke my heart and the ppl involved still to this day have no clue. I acted like i understood and let it go. Usually i don't even think about the issue, but today I did and the lies of unworthiness and patheticness that come with it. All day I keep coming back to how i am not good enough. Satan throws that lie at all of us, it just comes in different forms (not a good spouse, parent, to date, at work, with kids, etc). Mine is always the heart of who I am and how I am called to serve.
Don't worry, i dont believe the LIES, but overcoming them is a major battle. I told some of my accountability group last week it is my drug. I am addicted to believing the lies, thus rendering me ineffective in my witness for Christ. You must also know the day I am struggling with this the most is the day I forget to do major tasks that I do every day at work, multiple times a day, but somehow missed today. (thankfully my boss thinks it is the drugs he gave me to overcome the sickness i still can't shake)
I was able to talk through a lot of this with a friend this evening and we realized she is being fed the same lies. Hers just come from a different angle. Satan knows where and how to hit, but i have news for him....the battle is won and guess what YOU LOSE!!! In the meantime, I just have to continue to draw from Christ's strength and rest in knowing HE is inside of me and makes me worthy, because "I am not my own, but Christ who lives within me"
I have this feeling God is readying hearts for something big...maybe it is our summer events, new personnel, or simply a revival of hearts and souls to HIM. I feel Satan trying everything he can to prevent, halt or taint this ...whatever it is. I feel our church is being attacked from so many angles; my friends are being broken; I am being flung this way and that. Satan's only defense to whatever God is preparing to do is to get us off focus, off guard.
He is throwing his lies in my face and I am struggling not to believe them. Of course the day I wake from a dream of a random person I've not seen in years and wasn't ever friends with in the first place, who pointed out all my faults in front of my friends who did not stand up for me, is the day Satan decides to remind me of a heart breaking issue from several years ago. Something happened that broke my heart and the ppl involved still to this day have no clue. I acted like i understood and let it go. Usually i don't even think about the issue, but today I did and the lies of unworthiness and patheticness that come with it. All day I keep coming back to how i am not good enough. Satan throws that lie at all of us, it just comes in different forms (not a good spouse, parent, to date, at work, with kids, etc). Mine is always the heart of who I am and how I am called to serve.
Don't worry, i dont believe the LIES, but overcoming them is a major battle. I told some of my accountability group last week it is my drug. I am addicted to believing the lies, thus rendering me ineffective in my witness for Christ. You must also know the day I am struggling with this the most is the day I forget to do major tasks that I do every day at work, multiple times a day, but somehow missed today. (thankfully my boss thinks it is the drugs he gave me to overcome the sickness i still can't shake)
I was able to talk through a lot of this with a friend this evening and we realized she is being fed the same lies. Hers just come from a different angle. Satan knows where and how to hit, but i have news for him....the battle is won and guess what YOU LOSE!!! In the meantime, I just have to continue to draw from Christ's strength and rest in knowing HE is inside of me and makes me worthy, because "I am not my own, but Christ who lives within me"
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Iron sharpens iron
I have been carpooling to work since I moved to Spring Hill...saves money on gas and gives me company, which considering i like to talk, is a good thing. One of the greatest things is that at least one of our conversations a day is always spiritual. Jason and I hash things out (which is funny b/c we usually pretty much agree, but we hash all sides anyway) and lay out different views and cover the verses concerning whichever subject we are on for the day. I love these times and have missed some of these conversations with friends and family from the past. When I lived in Baltimore, there was a guy who used to enter into spiritual debates with me regularly. We didn't always agree, but both brought our points with our scripture to back it up and sometimes came to a conclusion, while other times our conclusion was that we disagreed. We always walked away feeling sharpened and still close friends. Anyone who knows me well knows my passion for Christ is one of my favorite things to discuss. I could (much to many ppl's dismay) discuss spiritual questions and musings all day. That being said, these carpool discussions are exciting me!...and making me think.
On the other end of that, there was someone else in Baltimore I used to have the same type discussions with, but we both were entering them with wrong motives. Neither of us wanted to learn anything or grow, but to prove the other wrong or show each other up. I learned the hard way how not to have a spiritual debate...God keeps my motives pure and lets me know when i am starting to get into the wrong mode of thinking. It is so easy to be self righteous, but God reminds me that too is sin. Now, I just try to use conversations such as these as a cause to reflect on His Word and learn what I can.
On the other end of that, there was someone else in Baltimore I used to have the same type discussions with, but we both were entering them with wrong motives. Neither of us wanted to learn anything or grow, but to prove the other wrong or show each other up. I learned the hard way how not to have a spiritual debate...God keeps my motives pure and lets me know when i am starting to get into the wrong mode of thinking. It is so easy to be self righteous, but God reminds me that too is sin. Now, I just try to use conversations such as these as a cause to reflect on His Word and learn what I can.
Monday, March 2, 2009
i despise sickness
So, for the first time in four days, I woke up hungry...big accomplishment. The problem is, I have now been up almost 2 hours and am going to be returning to bed soon. The congestion in my chest and head is not going away and my throat is starting to hurt. I have to make it to work tomorrow, so much rest today! You would think being in bed for four days straight would help some, but no, i am still sick. Just for the record, I can't remember the last time I was this sick for this long. I do hope they will give me drugs at work tomorrow if this is not gone...of course, Lynn will probably shoot me in the tail (i think she secretly enjoys torturing ppl)
On a good note...I made it through church last night, then stayed up a few more hours. I had not had a fever since sometime the day before, so felt safe, but took hand sanitizer for each time I coughed or sneezed. I plugged everything in with an antibacterial wipe and wiped everything down before I left, just to be safe. The sad part is, i would not let the kids hug me. I stayed with the older ones, so they understood not to come close, but a couple of my younger kids; (3 and 5) who always make my day by running to me like I am their most favorite person ever; started coming toward me and I stopped them and told them they couldn't hug me, but we could blow kisses. Of course they looked crushed (I am so mean) and asked why. I explained that I have been sick (which only sort of helps b/c I let them lay all over me when they were sick). Anyway, they blew many kisses and left.
When I got home, their mom sent me a text saying Cadence (the 3 year old) got in the car and promptly asked if they could pray for 'miss mandy.' Isn't is sweet to know these kids are learning the importance of praying for others already (Good job Josh and Chanda)...and it made my day. Makes me feel honored!
On a good note...I made it through church last night, then stayed up a few more hours. I had not had a fever since sometime the day before, so felt safe, but took hand sanitizer for each time I coughed or sneezed. I plugged everything in with an antibacterial wipe and wiped everything down before I left, just to be safe. The sad part is, i would not let the kids hug me. I stayed with the older ones, so they understood not to come close, but a couple of my younger kids; (3 and 5) who always make my day by running to me like I am their most favorite person ever; started coming toward me and I stopped them and told them they couldn't hug me, but we could blow kisses. Of course they looked crushed (I am so mean) and asked why. I explained that I have been sick (which only sort of helps b/c I let them lay all over me when they were sick). Anyway, they blew many kisses and left.
When I got home, their mom sent me a text saying Cadence (the 3 year old) got in the car and promptly asked if they could pray for 'miss mandy.' Isn't is sweet to know these kids are learning the importance of praying for others already (Good job Josh and Chanda)...and it made my day. Makes me feel honored!
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